Is lack of engagement, due to selfish writers, or are some of us not good enough?
For the last week, I have been having an attack of confidence. Is this why my writing is suffering or are writer’s too selfish to support each other? You can make the decision about which is more likely, at the end of this post.
For the last week, I have struggled with my writing. I have missed all my goals and hate the thought of sitting in front of a computer.
Two things have happened this week. The first is the school, I am deputy head at, had Ofsted. For those outside education, this is the UK system of checking and grading schools. A stressful time for any teacher. As well, this week it was my little girls second birthday. Those two things have meant that writing has been my last priority.
I am physically and mentally exhausted.
Is it I’m Not Good Enough?
Over the last year, I have been putting every last piece of energy into writing. I have posted at least twice a day and for the last 6 weeks I have posted up to 8 times a week. For what? Nothing to be honest.
My income is awful, I barely earn enough to cover my outgoings for the month. For the record, my outgoings stand at $20 a month.
People are not clapping anymore.
My email list has stagnated at 20 subscribers. I offer a free course on social media marketing, it has made little difference.
Despite some extensive marketing, no one is interested in joining my Patreon page. I have received no new sign-ups this month at all. I offer daily writing tips and writer mentoring. None of these are good enough to attract subscribers.
Worst of all, I haven’t read a book in months. I am too tired.
Maybe my writing is not good enough to attract people.
Or Are Some Writer’s Selfish?
I have tried to support every writer and publication I have links to. I follow two writers who I have spoken to. For no other reason, than I like their writing and want to offer them a little extra. I also support two publications that I publish to. I spend little under $15 a month, but I support them, financially.
Most writers are not willing to do this and this is where I think the selfish side of a writer comes in. I know we are all struggling, but are we making money out of people without giving something back.
I run two publications. I have asked people to support these publications with a subscription of $1 a month. Only two people have signed up. Writers are submitting to my publication, making money through the paywall and will not even give the editor $1.
On Facebook, I run a very active group with 500 members. Bloggers & Medium Support. Daily I publish feeds, keep the page working and support my writers, by promoting their posts. Last month I put a post asking for support from the members, again no one signed up.
On another group I belonged to, the owner demanded that all the members joined Patreon. He threatening to shut the group if they didn’t join. I’m not that sort of person. Even the slight advertising I have done has left me feeling uncomfortable. The hope is that people value what I do enough to join of their own free will.
As a writer, I am as selfish as the rest of you. Only yesterday I was talking to my partner about my writing. She said that when I write, I shut myself off at the detriment of my family.
I am a selfish writer.
Where to Writers go from here?
So now I am faced with the decision. Do I carry on with my extensive schedule for my side hustle and hope things improve or do I quit?
I understand that money is short and we all have bills to pay. You can’t support every writer on the planet. Look at those that you interact with and you receive help from and I urge you to support them, however, you can. Join their email list, subscribe to their Patreon and say thank you in whatever way you can.
Where do I go?
I am sure at some point all writers reach this crossroads. Exhaustion may be telling me I need a rest, rather than quitting. At the back of my mind though I have this thought.
Why put my family second for a writing career that is yielding next to nothing?