The Desperate Men on Twitter and Instagram Make Me Want to Delete my Account.

There is a phenomenon of Twitter and Instagram that is driving me mad. The number of men that DM me (direct message.)

So what causes random men to want to chat to women they don’t know. Many of them are married. They may be lonely, but Twitter, as far as I know, isn’t a dating site.


On Instagram, it is easier to spot the profiles they have a couple of photos on and that’s it. Members can only DM you if you follow them back. Whereas I used to follow everyone back, I can now look at their profile spot a desperate and don’t follow them back. End of problem.

Twitter is Different.

I have always had some good results from marketing my writing on Twitter. I also run a poetry newsletter where I ask poets to contact me if they wish to be featured. For this reason, I can’t turn off DM’s from people who don’t follow me.

Every day there is a new message from a man. They normally start with the imaginative message of ‘hello dear’. Dear, the most derogatory term you can use for a woman. The men are also all over 50.

I have tried many tactics, being rude to them, ignoring them and taking the piss out of them. Nothing works, they are persistent.

I am open about my sexuality as a gay woman I have no interest in men. As a woman in a happy relationship, I have no interest in anyone. Yet still, they do not get the message.

Cheating is the Lowest.

I presume by the fact they are not tweeting me, that a large proportion of these men are married. What are these men looking for? In many cases, it’s a naughty photo or some sexual interaction.

What about the poor wives that are sat at home unaware their husbands are using Twitter to solicit women.

If you aren’t happy in your relationship then finish it and move on. I have done it, why keep a partner thinking everything is okay when it’s not. It’s dishonest and hurtful.

Whether this is right or wrong from now on if you direct message me I will be replying to you via a tweet. Open and honest all the way. If you have nothing to hide then we may well become friends. If you are hiding a wife then don’t bother.

This isn’t meant to be a criticism of all men. I have met so many male writers that I consider friends in the writing community. True gentleman, like Jason Weiland who speak out on female rights regularly. Jack Mulcahy who writes stories that include brilliant female characters. There are many more too numerous to mention.

I am also aware that men may be getting this treatment on Twitter from females.

This is for the men that inhabit Twitter and Instagram who believe women are a piece of meat to be bargained for. Those that have no regards to their nearest and dearest. This is about the older generation who need to get their head out of their arse and start living in this century.

Women should not be subjected to this treatment every time they log onto a social media platform.

What have been your experiences with the opposite sex on these platforms? Are you a man who has been solicited by a female? Share your stories below.

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Published by Sam H Arnold

Sam H Arnold is a writer of True Crime, Parenting and Writing Tips articles. If you have enjoyed her work you might consider donating her a coffee on Ko-Fi. Links to this and all her other work can be found on the about me page.

2 thoughts on “The Desperate Men on Twitter and Instagram Make Me Want to Delete my Account.

  1. IKJWYM. I’m constantly having some rando try to slide into them DMs. And, all my social media clearly states that I am happily married. Every single time I post new pictures to Instagram, I get 20 or 30 men trying to DM me. Twitter draws similar attempts, but I don’t answer DM form anyone. What bugs me the most is when they get belligerent because I don’t answer them or because I send them an “I’m married” infographic.

    It’s just like when we have to run the gauntlet down city streets past construction sites or across campus, or anywhere women congregate together, like clubs or coffee houses or libraries – SERIOUSLY, what kind of brain thinks women sitting around a table in a public library want an uninvited rando to pull up a chair and wedge themselves into our group?

    Sadly, as we’ve been seeing from all the #MeToo charges against iconic public figures, it’s obvious that men carry a conviction that they have a right to our time and attention wherever and whenever they encounter us – and that includes the conviction that we women have no right to and could not possibly harbor any desire to refuse their overtures.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Completely agree with you. Didn’t think of comparing these men to the construction site mentality, but you are completely right.

      I had one this week that I ignored he filled my messages with Hello’s and then started getting nasty.

      When I tell them I’m gay and happily attached they ask if they can convert me. Of course, I am only gay because I haven’t been with a real man. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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