I have heard many people say this is the worse year they have had. For some this might be true, for the others not. I have had far worse years than this one. The year my best-friend died was very bad. It was also the year my niece was born, so not the worse year.
There have been down days and times, but generally, 2020 has been kind to me. I have completed my manuscript. Watched my baby blossom into a cheeky six-month-old. I have also had quality time with my two-year-old. My daughter is on the spectrum and the world has been a scary place for her, until now. I have watched her grown up and develop at lightning speed. How can 2020 be a bad year?
There have been bad times. Times of boredom, worries over money, and the constant ache of not seeing my mum. My glass, however, is always half full. I’m not seeing my mum, but at least she is fit and healthy. With everything in life, it is your mindset that controls your experience.
What are mindsets
Mindsets are assumptions that come from our world view and philosophy to life. Mindsets do control our behaviour and outlook on life. Carol Dweck did extensive research on mindsets and established two types. A fixed mindset which accepts that failure and bad things always happen, there is nothing I can do to change it. A growth mindset invests in the effort to learn from difficulties. These people can change their outcomes for the better.
An individual’s mindset will impact many aspects of a person’s life. From their mental health to that of others around them. Mindset can control not only how we see the world, but our physical well being.
How to encourage a growth mindset
Within everyday life, there are several things we can do to change our mindset. No one is stuck in one type of mindset we can all change. We can all improve our lives and change our mindset.
See at the beginning of this article when I spoke about my best friend dying. Yes, it was an awful time in my life. I had come back from an amazing New Year away, to hear he was in the hospital. By the time I could see him, he had already slipped away. Two days later, I went to see my sister for a cuddle and a chat. I remember it clearly, she had a cold so I bought her all the cold remedies I could find. When I got there she said she couldn’t take them as she was pregnant. In that one second, my life went from complete sadness to happiness. Nine months later, I was the proud aunty of a beautiful niece.
That single moment in my life taught me that life can change instantly. From the worse year, to one of the best. It was that moment that I realised after every negative event, there is always a positive waiting around the corner. It is a thought that has kept me positive for the last eight years. When times are bad look forward to the good that is coming.
God never gives us more than we can handle.
When I lost my full-time job, a job I loved, I could have sat and cried for days. Instead, I put it to the back of my mind and started focusing on my writing business. I grew a good following on my blogs and developed my coaching program for other writers. I used a negative to move forward a positive.
As with any skill the more your practice the better you get. The more you adopt this way of thinking the more it becomes second nature. Focus on the good in your life. Work on changing those things you can and moving past those you can’t. With time and practice you shift your mindset from fixed to growth.
Surround yourself with positive people. There are always people in life who are negative and want to bring you down with them. This is the same for positive people. Surround yourself with positive people and your positivity will grow. As your positivity grows those around you will notice. You can then help change their mindset. Positivity is addictive.
Another method I have used when being very down is to keep a gratitude diary. Every day I would write down three things to be grateful for. It could be as simple as being grateful for the food on your table. When you look there are always positives and things to be grateful for. When you are feeling low, you have a resource to go back and read. Reading your positives from other days will help with the positives of today. I use a traditional approach of notebook and pen. A note on your mobile is just as good.
I appreciate that some of you at present might be having the worse year ever. I am truly sorry if this is you. If you have lost a loved one, it may be hard to see the positive. Give it time and work on the techniques discussed and things will slowly start to look a little brighter.
The vast majority are being negative. If they think about it there are worse years. They have become involved in the mood of the media and others. Others are putting them into a fixed mindset. If this is you then attempt to change your mindset. Write down what you are grateful for, daily. Talk to positive people in your life and lift yourself to a better place.