Where Has My Writing Passion Gone? I’m tired, not the I need an early night tired, but that bone tired. I ache all over and I have no energy left. My writing this week has suffered. I managed to publish two pieces last week. A new low for me. There was no joy in writing and no enthusiasm to try. Then I read this article from Tom Kuegler about his lack of interest in making Facebook videos.
We are programmed to react to negativity, not positivity. When you visit my local chemist you have to park on the pavement. There is a proud sign in the window that states only customers can park outside the door. Yes, it is a pavement, but it is so large it accommodates cars and pedestrians. Whilst waiting outside, I saw a lady pushing a double buggy towards the cars. The buggy was empty, I have no idea why. She struggled to get the buggy past two of the cars. Having struggled with a pram, I got out and asked if she would like a hand.
Children who play the system and ridiculous rules are only half of the story Five years ago, I was a foster parent. It is a part of my life, I have never shared through my writing before. This week though I sat down to write a short story and had to draw on some of my experiences. It took me back and made me reflect on the five years, I spent bringing up other people’s children. If you asked me now if I would do it again my answer would be no. If I could go back ten years, would I convince the younger me to embark on the profession? Sadly, my answer would still be no. These are my personal experiences, everyone’s journey is different. I am not advocating becoming a foster parent, as much as I am not trying to put anyone off. There are many positives to being a foster parent.
Take back control. Did you know that 90% of the world’s data was created in the last two years? Sit for a minute and think about that. It is a frightening statistic. For this amount of data to be produced, what have we sacrificed? Time with our family. Time reading, relaxing and in some cases our mental health. This is how bad social media addiction has become. I have a friend who battles a negative self-image daily. It’s hard for me to understand, she sees fat and ugly. I see a stunning figure and beautiful. Social media compounds this problem.
India my favourite place on earth. Initially, when asked what my favourite thing in the world, I would always say my daughter. She will always remain my number one. Until her sister is born then she will have to share the top spot. However, there is a place that had such a massive effect on me, that I have to talk about it. This one place changed my outlook to life, completely. If it hadn’t been for this place, I wouldn’t have even had a family. This place is India. When I was 22 I was self-obsessed and a consumer animal. At the time I had a brilliant high paid job and lived at home with my parents. The cash I had to spend every month was four figured. Spend I did. The latest jeans, the newest trainers and the flashiest cars. I bought a pair of ripped jeans once for £200 and there was no material. For my 23rd birthday, my friend said we should do something big. So we booked a holiday to India. Not a sit on the beach holiday, but a holiday to immerse ourselves in the culture.
Is lack of engagement, due to selfish writers, or are some of us not good enough? For the last week, I have been having an attack of confidence. Is this why my writing is suffering or are writer’s too selfish to support each other? You can make the decision about which is more likely, at the end of this post. For the last week, I have struggled with my writing. I have missed all my goals and hate the thought of sitting in front of a computer. Two things have happened this week. The first is the school, I am deputy head at, had Ofsted. For those outside education, this is the UK system of checking and grading schools. A stressful time for any teacher. As well, this week it was my little girls second birthday. Those two things have meant that writing has been my last priority.
Try to gain success at the expense of someone else, is never alright. Recently the negativity has been flowing again. Once again a writer has thought it was reasonable to call out another writer. Now I am not saying everyone on Medium is perfect, far from it and I include myself in that. But, I am bemused at the number of people who want to make it to the top, whilst trampling over others.