For me, home is a person, not a place. My circuits have blown I know it’s self-imposed And all I have shared, and all I have loved Is all I’ll ever own But something has changed I feel so alive My life just blew up, I’d give it all up I’ll depressurize Oh, oh, oh, ten … Continue reading Home Is Where The Heart Is
Nature Versus Nurture — One of The Biggest Psychological Debates The debate between nature and nurture has been one that has fascinated me for many years. None more so than recently, as I watch my daughter grow. My daughter loves books and hates peas and dresses. I hate peas and dresses and love books. We are two peas in a pod, excuse the pun. We are a perfect genetic match, except we aren’t because she is my adopted daughter. This led me to think exactly how much of child development is nature and how much is nurture.
Children who play the system and ridiculous rules are only half of the story Five years ago, I was a foster parent. It is a part of my life, I have never shared through my writing before. This week though I sat down to write a short story and had to draw on some of my experiences. It took me back and made me reflect on the five years, I spent bringing up other people’s children. If you asked me now if I would do it again my answer would be no. If I could go back ten years, would I convince the younger me to embark on the profession? Sadly, my answer would still be no. These are my personal experiences, everyone’s journey is different. I am not advocating becoming a foster parent, as much as I am not trying to put anyone off. There are many positives to being a foster parent.
When I was 34, I found out the chances of me having children was very low. It broke my heart into a million pieces. Throughout my early years, I had a life plan. I worked hard and got the career, I wanted. I was department head for a massive college, by the time I was 30. One of the youngest recorded department heads. I was getting married to someone, I thought, I could spend the rest of my life with. The next step was the children.
The constant fear I suffer as a parent. My little girl struggles with her social skills. She is two years old and isn’t talking. We are waiting for an appointment, for speech therapy. For her development, we agreed it was best if she started nursery, in an attempt to socialise her. She starts in September, I haven’t questioned it. Then I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a post about a child going to pre-school. Normal, logical post, great idea I thought and then bam it hit me. Crippling anxiety at the thought of my little girl going to nursery.
Using token economies to reward positive behaviour. Whether you are a parent or teacher, rewarding good behaviour has to be a priority. This principle teaches children what behaviour should be repeated and which shouldn’t. A reward for positive behaviour could be something as simple as praise. Imagine the scenario your child is bored, you haven’t had enough time to spend in the day with them. It happens we are all busy people. They start to kick the chairs and throw things in the lounge, due to the boredom. You go over to them, putting your work down and deal with their behaviour.
The benefits of reading to your child. If you read one book a night to your child, when they are 5 they will have read 1825 books. My greatest joy as a parent is reading my little girl her bedtime story every night. I have actually got annoyed with my partner when she has tried to take the job away from me. As she is nearly two years old I have started moving away from the quick reads. Into the world of chapter books. So far the books we have covered have been The Magic Faraway Tree, a personal favourite of mine from when I was a child. We have now started a series of books, where the heroine shares the same name as her. I am beyond excited at the prospect of starting to read Harry Potter to her. This is a tradition that has been passed on through many generations. As a child, I remember my mum reading to me, her father read to her. It was a tradition I was determined to continue. Since she was born I have missed only one evening. For this time I told her a story, over the phone, that I had memorised. It was actually the Billy Goats Gruff, a story I insisted my mum read to me at least once a week. If you don’t read to your children at night, I urge you to start. The benefits far outweigh the time. Incidentally, I always leave my phone downstairs when I go to read to her. No interruptions are allowed.